Beauty and the Beast

Meandering about one day James Cross tried to find a solution to his anger management problem but didn't think it was something he could fix. He thought it was somebody with a laser like device configured to work like a tractor beam with him caught in it. Then it came on again only hotter than before. He knew he did something after he regained control of himself but was at a loss as to what it was. Some people took a picture of him and showed it to him saying he looked like Frankenstein. He told them he didn't normally have stitches in his forehead, wasn't green from the neck up, and didn't have an anger management problem. But they knew it was him and he had to go to court. Fortunately for him the judge gave him a light sentence. He had to take anger management drugs and attend anger management sessions for awhile.

After a few sessions he woke up one day in a strange place. Finding out he was in jail he was told the sentence he got was too light so it got amended. He thought that was unusual and the place didn't look like a jail so when he got an opportunity he took it. Looking through a door he noticed some children playing outside another door in a hallway so he ducked into the hallway and walked past the children. Looking into the room they were at it was just a room full of toys and stuff without another exit so he continued down the hall. Opening a door at the other end he saw two guards talking to two females so he closed the door and went back to the room full of toys hoping to hide for awhile. The kids asked him what he was doing so he told them he was to look after them for awhile. Finding a place where gym mats were stored he layed on the mats telling the kids he wanted to play hide and seek so they wouldn't tell anyone where he was at. He was doing good for about an hour until the kids told the females about him and he had to go back to the jail part.

He told the people in charge that he could handle a job like that and they said they would let him try on a trial basis and with older children. On his first day in class he was introduced as the new teacher. He thought that was odd because he knew a lot of things he could teach but the students would have to be a lot older. He passed out balloons to the class and asked them to fill them up. When they finished he said he wanted to make a demonstration to the class, blowing up a balloon and holding it up in both hands above his head. The students had a lot of questions but he remained quiet. Without taking his hands from the balloon or saying anything the balloon slowly deflated until it was the same size as his hand. The class clapped and cheered and asked how he did that so then he suggested they should try to do the same thing. That was what the balloons were handed out for. Realizing it would only take a small hole in the balloon they set about the task. After popping most of the balloons the regular teacher came back. She dismissed the class saying she didn't realize they were going to get a lesson in magic.

One day in the gym James Cross witnessed it when two fellows started arguing and fighting grabbing some bowling pins to use as weapons. One fellow tried reasoning with the other by telling him that he was James T. Kirk but the other fellow retorted that he knew that. It appeared Kirk was supposed to be an inmate and the other fellow was on the other side. So losing badly Kirk activated the gravity boots he was wearing and and was raised to about ten feet from the roof. Still holding a bowling pin he started swinging it to use as a weight gyrating to a different position looking for a window or something. The guards had a device they used to make robots out of the inmates and quickly activated it steering Kirk around. He was made to swing the bowling pin around to augment the robot device and then he was descending back to where he started. He came down swinging and pummelled the other fellow knocking him out. Then the guards came over protecting the poor fellow on the ground and taking Kirk away. When James Cross got back to his cell block there was Kirk ranting not too far from his cell. Then James Cross was magically transported to just outside Kirks cell and raised his chains, he had on his wrists, saying "I have a defence too". Kirks response was cut short as a guard was approaching but he did manage to say "What do you mean by too" and raising his hands added "I am not in chains". The guard came through the locked barrier with Kirks communicator in his hand and was surprised when he saw James Cross outside Kirks cell. He barked "what are you doing there" and James Cross turned quickly but not from surprise as he lashed at the guard with his chains. Kirk stopped him from further attacks by saying "get that communicator to me". After talking with his crew they transported both Kirk and Cross out of there. Out to captain Kirks ship the Enterprise.

James Cross returned to the planet and got an old type car and a communicator to use in case he got in trouble again. One day he was informed to go to see what was happening on a street without making it look obvious he was asked to go there. "There was probably going to be a swarm of officers going there soon" his communicator said and added something about a petition and naked ladies all at once from two people and so Cross said he could find some excuse for going there. "No time" came back and added that he just had to go down the street once without stopping anywhere. So he headed over there and going over the bridge he couldn't tell if the light up ahead was red or what the reason was he was stopped in traffic. "Are there officers here already" he asked over his communicator. "No" was the reply. "Some females are handing out petitions to drivers passing by" and "naked females holding up traffic" at the same time came over the communicator so James Cross asked for a repeat. Then they tried to get one voice talking and he said "there's some females wearing thong underwear handing out petitions to drivers". James asked "should I get one of them", and they responded "affirmative". So then James asked "which one, the petition or the naked female". Then they said "the petition, I don't think they are selling females". And creeping along he finally began talking with one of them. They were handing out petitions rallying for womans rights, complaining about big monsters and little females. On the reverse side of the petition was a picture that changed if it was held up to the light in a certain way.

The picture was of a fat chinese bald fellow holding a female out in front of him but the chinese fellow looked more like a buddha or statue and the female could have been added later. Then it worked like a hologram depicting a different scene if it was moved to a different angle. The other scene was from King Kong and had the effect of making the female in the first scene appear smaller than she actually was. Not being able to move quickly he asked what type of problem was the petition for. The answer was just typically the big monster and little female thing. So James Cross asked if there were any monsters like this around they were complaining about and got invited to talk inside and have a coffee. He replied he couldn't but they assured him it wouldn't take long so he said okay. Going slowly to the turn he had time to review the petition and then quickly doubled back down the alley and found a parking spot at the rear of their building. They were arguing over the communicator about that but decided it would be a way to find out about what was going on. After going into the building and explaining he got invited they got the girl who invited him and she asked him to sit with her on a rug. Then she offered him a coffee and while she was getting that another girl came over with a chair. Seeing him in a chair she gave him a coffee and then went to look for a chair for herself. All that didn't take much time but before she returned some officers came into the place. They started searching for all the males inside so James Cross got detained for suspicion. He stood up and that female came back saying she got a chair and one of the officers responded "he won't need that where he's going", so James Cross told them he had just got there. They asked him to wait there and when they were gone James got out his communicator and wondered if they could help. Deciding the appropriate solution would be to abandon that quest they beamed him out of there.

He returned to the surface of a planet that was deemed a quieter place. He knew some people and was hanging out near a cluster of garages hoping to get a fixer-upper or something to use. Talking with a friend, he knew as Mike, one day who he thought could help. Mike arranged something with one of the garages over the phone and James went over there. Mike was too busy to go with James so getting there the deal got changed and James had to go back to look for his friend. He thought he recognized him a ways down the street but looked for him where they were before anyway. Not being there he remembered where he was told his friend lived and ending up in the same place as the fellow he thought was him, down the street, he reasoned it was him and he must have been going home. The route took him past some dangerous dogs but seeing a child in the yard where the dogs were he kept walking. He thought he heard the child say "your friend went the way of the dogs" as he walked past their yard. Going around the corner some dogs came over stopping him from going further. He sat on a big rock and reasoning it must be dinner time so he would try another route or come back later. Then he got beamed back to the ship and he found out the dogs had his friend for dinner just before he got there. Then they thought of a quieter place to put him. Some place where no one would know where he was.

The crew on the ship knew of a place that was just being colonized so they put James down there. Him and an old friend, James knew as Loyd, both needed a quiet place so at least they both knew somebody. It was a cluster of new homes built like a fortress with the houses adjoining together forming a protected area in the middle. But they out-grew the original plans and had houses in the middle as a result. The residents were putting a monument up outside the front entrance and James and his friend were offered a chance to help to do this. But some of the women intervened saying the fellows should rest for a few days before starting work. After a few days they got together playing cards and the conversation went towards how well they got along. During a break in the game Loyd and one of the residents went to the washroom together and came out looking like they were trying to test the security system to see if they could notice if the system would know what they were doing. Then James thought his friend was going the way of the dogs too, even though there were no dogs in the colony.

by

John Chisholm

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